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Dear Zeus,
A shipping box, complete with air holes that I meticulously poked out myself, has been mailed to the address that you provided on your 2007 SRS tax return. Please put the aforementioned feline in the shipping box along with any collars, leashes, harnesses, or other sundry items that belong to her. We do wish all feline employees to be happy and their own restraining devices seem to make them more comfortable.
This feline shall be employed in our "Vermin Control" department. She shall be tethered to our overhead cable line and given enough line to police the yard. For every two mice she catches, she is allowed to keep one. The other is for her lowness, of which I get half because I am the Director of the SRS. If she gets a muskrat or other vermin larger than a mouse, she gets a bonus of playing on the scratching post made from our 35-yr old shag carpet from the family room. We haven't worked out the details on how we are going to get that off of the floor yet, but we don't really see her catching any muskrats either.
All felines will be vetted regularly and I will personally spray them with the hose to keep them clean. I will also spray them with the hose to keep them quiet.
We appreciate your prompt payment. Please feel free to contact our office with any additional questions.Tiki, Director of the SRS
Dear Tiki, Director of the SRS
Thank you for your prompt reply. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the shipping box.
Belle, the Princess Cat, believes herself to be a mighty hunter. My Mom has assured me that mice are her favorite prey, when she's not stalking me. As decapitated Barbie heads are her favorite practice toys, a plentiful supply of them will be provided.
Your Faithful Servant,
Zeus
