27 replies to this topic

[dobbiehearted]

I dont know anyone out here.. first time I ever logged on.. I have been trying to find any forum or anything that may ease this horrible pain... I have found a shred of something as being on this board..

I brought my princess home 9 years ago..April.. she was a puppy.. researched all the things I thought I should from the breeder... gave her the optimum healthy lifestyle. best food.. stayed on top of every little thing that seemed odd... every check up was a success.. there was nothing too good for her..

I was extreme.. probably not a good personality trait in me..

I have had only a few things that would qualify as lump in life in these 40 some odd years.... I an a fighter..I never get too down... I even lost a dear friend lately but somehow it did not devistate me to this degree.. there was sadness but not this level of change in me..

My sweet lexa in Feb, just last month had a look in her eyes.. I knew something was there.. not right.. I took her in for a complete check up...blood work up..wellness package.. nothing showed up... perfect results... but there was that look.. I knew there was something going on..but wanted to think it may pass as how could it not as the vet said she was ok..

fast forwarded to this week.. I see her in the last 10 days doing this honk type cough..just once during her daily run at the park.. she wanted to cut the run short.. this was very unusual..

Then a few days later after watching her like a hawk..another cough the second one.. honk. ok now I am thinking she has kennel cough or something... how the heck did she get this. 2-3 days no cough.. sleepy more..and she had this look again.. Thursday afternoon of last week, we go to the park and enjoy her run..it was sunny.. she did..but did stop sooner than usual.. so I thought it was the tolerance needed to built up since the winter ..... ok now the walk..she was looking at me midway as I am tired. so I cut it short.. We go home that night..dinner was ok... she sleeps most of the night.. I think she is just tired.. we awake Friday and she is ok... she is not alarming me.. she seems the same just with those eyes that have something missing though.. I think I am in denial , after all the vet said she was ok.

We go to the vet this Friday morning for our lepto vacination.. my vet listens to her heart..we rush to the cardio emergency.. I am just thrown.. the diagnosis is she is in final stages of dcm...????????? she stays the night there to get stable if she makes it... Before I left her there and was in torture that night.. spending the whole night trying to figure out how , what has happened.. I was told she has at very very best 3 months to live..

I cant get my footing...I picked her up Saturday to bring her home with this new drug treatment, that is soppose to help her live only a short time.. its Tuesday.. this once regal, proud, athletic beautiful dog is now weak... only has enjoyment sitting in the sun..still is eating as I am feeding her only chicken and good stuff.. she is being pampered just like she should.. I see her smelling around her back yard...but no interest in chasing the squirrels.. she is watching..

she sleeps nearly the whole evening and night..little wake ups as I get her up to try and get her outside...

Its horrible, and I cant breath... dont know what to do.. the vet said go on as normal as much as I can... no walks or certainly no running or playing.. I have not worked.. I feel broken..

I am posting here to ask.. for information on suggestions to make a decisions. and be more prepared. They told me she had really good signs with everything considered.. so may go the norm or a bit longer...

I again ask anyone who has gone thru this.. is there anything I could have done ..? I want to give her a quality of life.. I feel as if how can I leave her , lucky to work for myself so I can come back in 3-4 hours thru the day... have to leave her tomrw..

I am asking what to be prepared for and have a plan.. as she declinces will I see her go into a painful seisure like when she cant breath.. what is the point of rushing her to the vet ? I will if she will be in pain... or is it quick and I can just hold her and let her go? or is there something that I can do.. any suggestions on what I need to prepare for as that may happen while she is with me.. I want to do the right thing keeping her out of pain.

If she is gone when I come home I will deal with that then.... I will not let it happen during her sleep as I watch her close now.... any advice I am a mess...

I am also thinking after she gets use to this medication a bit over the next week, if she makes it.... I will jsut take her for the walk she loves.. the one that she will let me know if she can go.. and take the risk.... let her be happy with what she loves to do..

again any suggestions.. this is killing me.. I am a strong woman, not today... she has been a part of my definition of my life for the last 9 years.. felt invisible and never lonely in my entire life... feel like that night of darkness and empty awaits me on the other side of this..I am scared and just hurt..but mostly I want to have a plan and make sure she feels some joy..

I am very sorry this is sooo long and much of a ramble I just need some advice.. my baby knows I am hovering and I just dont know what to do.. thanks

[Arda]

Where are you located at? Who is your vet? What meds is she on? Is Pimbendon one of the drugs. It gave me 6 more months with Brandy. I think Pat got 5 months more out of Angel. There is nothing more that you could have done. Honest. It comes on that suddenly and they are gone so quickly. Try not to make her worry. Your additude will be a comfort to her. Let her take the lead and do what she wants to do. They start to get very picky about their food about a week before they go. Hang on. We are a support group for Dobes and DOBE OWNERS. We have all been through it. We are here to help in any way we can. Prayers are coming your way.

[Pam]

I'm so sorry about your baby. DCM is a horrible thing from what I understand & seems to not discriminate between dogs that are well cared for & those that are not. My daughter's Dobe is 7 & was diagnosed several months ago at MSU. With meds he is holding is own & even walked down the aisle at her wedding! There are meds that can help & I know others on this forum have been throiugh what you are experiencing. I'm sure they can give you good advice. Good luck & you'll be in my thoughts.

[Arda]

Get on the board and read about the taurine. Maybe it's too late but I think most of us are starting on it to some degree as fast as possible.

[dobbiehearted]

thanks you..... I have been at the novi cardiology hospital.. they have her on Pimbendon, Lasix, Enalapril, Spironolactone,Sotalol...

that is the cocktail. I am feeling as you all would expect.. I am even for seconds in between looking at all the dobes that need a second chance.. thinking thoughts of .. I am not sure.. Dont know if I can really think of that now.. I am mad at the breed for all these things that go wrong.. there is too many things. all my friends are saying next time get a mutt..

well we love mutts just as much too.. but this dog.. omg.. just like all the storied I read here.. I know I am not alone.but it feel like it..

I want answers to give her quality now.. is there anyone who can write me privately and give a phone number..or just a private email so I dont fill the board up with this private endless pain...

I want to know what to expect..maybe some hope...the one post here.. the sweet angel lived 6 more months...??? oh hope..

I want to know if the things she is doing is with in someone elses story..just for comfort.. I want to know what to do when it gets close to the end..

I currently am feeding her chicken and rice...a bit of green beans and her Merrick chicken wing canned.. a pet tab a day.. this is a new diet as before she had kibble- candiae and other treats for healthy dogs..she wants noth toomuch to do with dog food.. she still is enjoying the chicken and rice mixture..

I just want to know if a walk will very likely kill her.. she is sleeping lots at night.. stayed up the morning.. again this has only been a few days.. if someone wants to write me I would so appreciate I cant call my vet for all my questions.. the specialty hospital is just there as a limited answer source.. those are business and they cant provide me with the real stuff like your seem to know.. I am mad at them on some level as they have collected my money in boatloads for the years... and even though they are being very kind and nice..when I have called.. they still let you know they are a business not a couseling service.. I think I need to direct this anger somewhere..they mostly are good folks.

here is my private email if anyone has the time.. I just would love to speak to someone who has gone thru this.or maybe have a success story..-- I am gong to look at info on Taruine?? thanks brendafaux@aol.com

[dobeluvr]

So sorry to hear about your baby. I understand your feelings but have no advice to give you other than to listen to Arda. I agree with her about attitude. Dogs can pick up on your mood and it will affect them. Try not to be too emotional when you are around her. It will be next to near impossible at times, but try your hardest. She looks to you for leadership and that is what will make her feel peaceful. Calm and assertive is the goal.

Most of us here have experienced the excruciating loss of a pet. I hope you find some comfort here.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jane

[Arda]

Brandy was on Digoxin; Pimbendon; Lasix; Enalapril. Christa Pheiffer's champion male, Arco, is on the same as your girl is on. Looks like the cource to go. We have a lot of vet techs and Dobe Fools on the list. We are here to listen and really do care about you and your girl. Who was the breeder? What line did she come from? Daisy is real good to know the problems in some of the breeder lines in the country. I usually talk with her when we get Dobes in from the breeders in the state. I sure don't want someone else to suffer like we do. We are here to hold your hand.

[Kimmi]

Brandy was on Digoxin; Pimbendon; Lasix; Enalapril.  Christa Pheiffer's champion male, Arco, is on the same as your girl is on.  Looks like the cource to go.  We have a lot of vet techs and Dobe Fools on the list.  We are here to listen and really do care about you and your girl.  Who was the breeder?  What line did she come from?  Daisy is real good to know the problems in some of the breeder lines in the country.  I usually talk with her when we get Dobes in from the breeders in the state.  I sure don't want someone else to suffer like we do.  We are here to hold your hand.

She's 9. If you need someone to talk to I work down the street from Dr. Brown's office in Novi...10 mile and Meadowbrook. Stop in and see me. Email me first so I'm sure I'm there...sehoya@verizon.net

Kim Downer
Sehoya Dobermans

[brownsmom]

well we love mutts just as much too..  but this dog..  omg.. just like all the storied I read here..  I know I am not alone.but it feel like it..

I want answers to give her quality now..  is there anyone who can write me privately and give a phone number..or just a private email so I dont fill the board up with this private endless pain...

We do "counseling service" ...you wandered onto a great board for that - I have never found another one with so many people willing to listen, help, sympathize...trust me, most of us know more than a little bit about pain and loss, and that sometimes the only way to make it any better is to just let the pain out before it chokes you.

It is horrible, what you are going through, especially the knowing. The Dobe I lost to cardio was running around the yard, bossing the other dogs and being herself and then she was gone - so fast and shocking there wasn't even pain until a few days later, but it was far easier to take than watching the haunted look in another's eyes when the pain was so bad she wouldn't eat anymore, then holding her and letting her go when the vet said there was nothing more we could do.

Yes, you will find people who will understand, will let you rant because we KNOW it isn't fair, isn't right, isn't anything, and who will cry with you when it comes to that.

Take care of your girl, take Arda's advice, and good luck.

[oreo5129]

I DON'T KNOW THAT THERE ISN'T ONE PERSON ON THIS BOARD WHO HAS LOST A FURKID, AND TRAGICALLY SOME MORE THAN ONE. THIS BREED IS SO LOVING, AND FAITHFUL, AND LOVE THEIR HUMANS AND THEIR HUMAN'S TOUCH SO MUCH THAT TO LOSE ONE IS DEVASTATING.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR BABY GOT THE BEST OF CARE AND LOVE SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN.
I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE PAIN AND SORROW OF THIS.
I AM THINKING OF YOU AND YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS.

MARY

[dobbiehearted]

I am reading allyour replies.. and some of your private emails to me.. I am feeling a bit better as sharing is a good part of the human spirit.. I am alone and my family and friends are kind and loving, but they dont know this pain...

I am going to get back with each of you when I can get the words.. It does help.. Amy-- you are again so generous even in your own fresh pain... thanks again !!!

I had some questions that can be answered with real live experiences and this helps.. I am not able to offer too much to anyone else at this time.. and this is a strange place for me as usually I am giving by nature.... dont have anything much..

I am living life feeling day by day..is this the day.. there is this walking on egg shells feeling.. she actually wants to play with her ball on a rope and scamper thru the house.. I panic and go in to the other room, or come in for a moment then she will settle down.. I am torn with if she wants to be frisky let her.. right??

thougths on this one.. I know I have to read it..but her whole life has been runs at the park.. nearly everday for 9 years.. and walks of 3 miles on most days after the run, or in the later part.. I loved letting her soar as she ran like a racehorse.. pretty sight as we know..

I am worried she will slip away from me sooner ...but when she feels frisky I feel as if not to encourage her but certainly let her do her thing.. I may get closer to this as I continue to live this is this the day....feeling.. its not pleasant..

I cant be normal.. there feels as if there is no normal now....

Amy helped me with a huge worry, I did not want her to suffer and if I was to leave for longer than 1 hour...I was worried.. I also wanted to know if she goes in to heart failure.... will that be gradual so I can get her to the vet to p her to s... I want to be ready so it will be calm and not scary for her.. if she is struggling, I will not be able to bare it...so to go to the vet to start this all over again will not be worth it for her..

so as I am rambling.... any thoughts on this hard decision.. I think she would want to be a bit frisky.. (again me not encouraging) bu let her do what she wants... then if she gets winded or struggling... to bring her back at the vets... I think its fair to let her go... geesh, cant beleive I am saying this.

I wanted her to live forever.. I hate dcm.. I am mad that is so prevelant.. I cant beleive I thought I was reasonably educated on dobe problems.. got thru all the others...... this was from left field.

another thing.. I am spoiling her with cooked chicken and steak.. a bit of rice and pasta.. apples.. the good stuff..

since she seems to be hungry wht is the scale to change too.. I dont want to worry about bloat as well.. I use to feed her twice a day.. Canidae..kibbble with a splat of Merrick granny pot pie.. nearly 2 cups twice a day.. this was with her exericse..

nwo I am feeding the 2 cups 2 times a day of the human food mix...she seems much more hungry.. I cant stuff her.. should I add another mean in there?? any suggestions. I am a bit weak with the power of my old ways.. always feeling pretty good with my decisions.. not these days.

God this breed dog is heaven.. I love all dogs and am a sap for all of them.. but this breed seesm to fit.. I am really afraid of the other side of this.. the house , her stuff, my life without her.. I dont have lots of people coming and going as when my grown child left... it was me and my baby ... I am afraid that another dog would not feel right.. I suspect this is probably not the case.. but to go thru this again, dont think I could..

again no spell check here, no energy..and rambling.. I feel a sense of help here ...thanks so much !!!!

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[bumpster]

Amy helped me with a huge worry, I did not want her to suffer and if I was to leave for longer than 1 hour...I was worried..  I also wanted to know if she goes in to heart failure....  will that be gradual so I can get her to the vet to p her to s...  I want to be ready so it will be calm and not scary for her..  if she is struggling, I will not be able to bare it...so to go to the vet to start this all over again will not be worth it for her..

God this breed dog is heaven.. I love all dogs and am a sap for all of them.. but this breed seesm to fit..  I am really afraid of the other side of this..  the house , her stuff, my life without her..  I dont have lots of people coming and going as when my grown child left...  it was me and my baby ...  I am afraid that another dog would not feel right..  I suspect this is probably not the case..  but to go thru this again, dont think I could.. 

I can share what we have experienced. We lost our first dobe, Sheeba, when she was 10 to dcm. We thought she had caught a cold because she was coughing, we took her to the vet and they diagnosed her. That was back in 1992, they didn't seem to do too much for them back then. We had her on meds, but I couldn't tell you now what ones they were. The meds helped with some of the symptoms. She acted almost like normal, but was coughing. When she went it was fast, within seconds. There wouldn't have been time to do anything for her. I'm sure they all go differently, but that was the way she went. I think because she was our first, we knew in our heads that she wouldn't live forever, but our hearts didn't believe it. We lived in a daze for awhile. At first we didn't put any of her stuff away, but it was too painful to be reminded she wasn't there. So we put everything away, but that didn't help either because the house was too empty. My husband talked of getting another one, but I was stalling because I didn't want to go through the pain again. After about a month I agreed to see about getting another. We stumbled onto Rescue and got a 3-5 year old stray. It was the best thing we did. We were both working full time and the adult worked excellent for us. He was housebroke, didn't chew things up and was perfectly content to sleep the day away. We found that for us, it is better to get another one soon. It isn't a replacement for the one we lost, but it fills a void in our lives. Our dobes are a HUGE part of our life and we are lost without one. Everyone grieves differently, and what works for one doesn't work for someone else. I am really sorry you are having to go through this painful time, and I don't know if it helps any to have me share our story with you or not, but I wanted you to know that we are here for you.

Edited by bumpster, 28 March 2007 - 10:06 PM.

[Vicki_Wood]

You dear sweet thing, I am just so sorry. I am so glad you stumbled onto this board, might be called divine intervention. I can only affirm what everyone else has said above. Arda especially has suffered because she has had and lost so many, but still gives and loves; listen to her by all means. We all have lost our beautiful loves and like everyone has said, we all grieve in different ways. I personally turn around and adopt immediately since there are so many that need loving, good homes and it helps me deal with the grief. I truly believe that your dog will let you know when it's time, since mine have. If you are somewhat nearby, go out to Arda's (SCD) sometime; it's a real inspiration. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[debl]

I lost my 10 year old dobergirl to DCM last September, 2006. She was always strong & healthy. My vet even remarked he rarely sees a dog as well toned as she was. It was the cough that started the nightmare. She was diagnosed with DCM and given 3 - 6 months. I had to put her down 2 weeks later..they are such strong dogs..she was in the final stages...wouldn't eat anything...could only sleep on her tummy in a crouched position..no more on her side or curled in a ball. The stairs made her gasp for breath. Arda and everyone here will tell you about Quality of Life. She will let you know. No one has told your girl that she has 3 months to live. Let her live the way she enjoys. I know how painful this is.

As for me, now that my busy tax season is almost over, I'm looking forward to finding another great dobe @ SCD. You are in my thoughts.
Deb

[LuvmydobeApollo]

WOW, she is a beautiful girl!!
Write here often, there are alot of loving people who will help anyway they can. Like i said, they have all lost a beloved in some way or other and the pain is still there, it never really goes away, but it does get better.
Dont feel bad about looking a pictures of dogs for adoption, i did the same thing when my Apollo was diagnosed, i was so distraught that i didnt know what i was doing half the time. I got Eva from SCD about 2 weeks after he died, she wasnt a replacement, but she helped me tremendously.
Dont hold your breath waiting for her to die, let her live whats left of her life with your love and friendship. The drs. dont really know how long they have, could be this , could be that, no one knows for sure, just dont let it run your life. Let her do what she wants to do, she knows her limits and how she feels.

Sharen, Eva and Rueger

[dobbiehearted]

all this is helping... somehow there is a flicker of hope that wasnt there yesterday.. by this I mean.. I have to survive for her to make it thru what ever she has left.. Its impossible to do this just right as I am getting closer to clear thought again..

When I first heard of this last Friday morning , my world changed..I know it is changed forever.. I am doing my best to sort thru... finding this board was a god sent.....really..I found it by going back to a place I remember being on back when I first got her.. there was a lovely lady there who does the :dobertoons" I cried as I remembered all that joy from 10 years ago..my first dobbie..my first excitement of showing this beautiful dog off to the world.. (that never happened by the way as ...her here with me was enough... somehow I found this forum.. and this has helped save me so from a human being really destroyed and alone...feeling despair.. you all have reached out and I am not there yet..but I am sane..there are some helpful comaprisons.. there are some references for me rather than just internet clinical studies.. real human stories of our loved babies...

I was getting very cold and hurt by the lack of information and soothing that (you all can tell I need) from the assitants..receptionists.. and the interns.. never once have I talked to the doctor himself.. the one that is the specialist.. that doesnt matter to me.. I just want her comfy-- Iwant to know what general guideline to follow..

I am even looking at this today as there is no answers... it is just the clear horrible situation it is.. she is leaving me.. she is leaving from this.. she has it..she is in the final stages of this and that day 6 days ago, I wonder if I would of not went to the vet...she may have dropped...she may have just had breathing problems and we would of found ourselves here anyway....

but today I am here..trying so hard with thanks to all of you.. thinking racing thoughts..feeling so off kilter.. wondering if I spoil her and keep her just right she may go 6 months..then if I let her go a bit..she may go till tomrw.. I keep saying the words in my head.. it is her story..it is her ending.. it is hers... there is no script..

I have taken several more pics.. some movies on my cell phone. just stuff like that.. dont need to as she is imprinted in my heart and brain like nothing else in my life.. she was there thru any of my trouble waters and I do mean this there was a survival characteristic that was there in me..that seems to be gone thru this..

anyway I am getting better..today someone talked about what their dog loved to do..destroy seam by seam a stuffed toy..well I stopped doing that years ago as it was pointless to bring anything fabric in here.. well today there is lots of those little buggers that will be purchased.. so she can keep busy doing that.. idea that I did not have yesterday..

I have a feeling the basic story has started..we are in this....this horrible dcm... the drugs are the savoir for time ... to do what they do.. just science..

the other stuff is the love.. I must look at her..cherish each day..hour.. not let each one be filled with sadness as much as I can... even though that is hard to look at her.. part of our life for 9 years almost daily was.. (I was fortunate that I work for myself pretty much--so my scheudle is mine...) Nearly everyday started with a plan for one of the many different parks (variety for my baby) the fav park in the evening so she could run full speed... then several times a week..the walk.. again several places all around this metro area...1.5 mile one way.. 1.5 back.. I knew she was happy

she is looking at me as if saying where is the walk and the daily hoopla we do getting ready for it..the silly words and phrases that mean get in the truck.. or the whole routine that we did for each and every day for 9 years... gone..

where are those walks.. so since the walks I think are too soon, maybe next week... she can run in the back.chase squirrels. cats.. all that she wants.. its hard in the evening when she throws the ball ont he string around.. I hold my breath.. I cant bare it.. its as if she is pushing it.. I am only trying..I do usually get up after a minute or so and go to the other room for a moment so she will stop.. if you are not watching her she doesnt play..

ok.. that is where I am at...once again rambling.. maybe someone else will see my title in the subject one day and read my story and find comfort or clarity of something from it..

it is obviously helping me ..

again..thanks to all of you.. and I am thinking of all you have offered me.. in sharing..I am reading it over and over.. I am trying to make it as close to normal or a place that this is ok..

I close this as I have to leave her today.... I have to .. I am hoping there will be a few more gentle walks in our future.. those of you who got the diagnosis...you let them do what they wanted... without encouraging .. but did you take them on gentle walks.. ? This one scares me as it may be too much.. any darlings who lived with this and walked gently for awhile?

I just say this dog of mine.. like all of yours.. was an angel. I suspect maybe seeing other dobbies.. just petting them....... smiling with them..will help.. I may at one point when its right for me.. try and do that.. looking at a few of the pics with the contacts I have made..omg... makes me smile a bit..

ok.. signing off.. I will try and write some more well thougth posts ..keeping this run on to pm.. I know..I write lots.. I am aware of this....

[Kzoo]

it is her story..it is her ending.. it is hers... there is no script..

What you said there.........may not make much sense to your right now.......but it will.
I work for hospice, I stay with the dying and help them through their last days of life, their end of life care, if you will.
It is something that I have done for 3 years and has what inspired me to be a nurse, but not just any nurse, a Hospice nurse. I see death everyday.
I will be honest with you, at first it freaked me out as death was what frightened me more than anything in this world, but doing this job...is indescribable. I have seen things happen, I have seen faith, I have felt faith and it has helped me overcome my fear of death.
NO--death is never easy. But if we learn to understand that life has no script, and everyone has their own story, maybe, just maybe it will make more sense to all of us, and help us overcome the pain. Not forget--just overcome the pain.
What you said hit home with me..I have been trying to find words to talk to people about it, and you just helped ME. Thank you.
I think what makes us so much in love with our pets is that they are loving no matter what time of day or night, they never have bad moods, they don't care if you skip a shower, they don't care about anything, but loving YOU. That is their job I think. To love us unconditionally. I truly am thankful for pets. They certainly put smiles on my face that sometimes I don't deserve and keep me happy daily. Days when my children are at school and my husband is at work and I have a day off, I have my little buddies to sit on my lap and to cuddle up with.
I love that. I am thankful for those moments. We are never guaranteed a tomorrow with anyone or anything, but we can love until our heart breaks.
And it always does. But I am sure I speak for lots, we wouldn't change a thing.
Melissa K.

[ella]

I am so sorry for what you are going thru. This board is wonderful for talking and telling what is happening. We are here for listening and feeling your pain. I lost two dogs. one that I had for 13 years and one for 14 years. It is never easy, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Ella

[Daisy]

You are THERE for her... Thats whats important...
When the weather is good & you feel she wants to
go for a walk, just take her for a short one & store up
all the memories you can... She will tell you when the
meds are working & when they stop, you will know right
away too..
All of us have lost our furkids at one time or other & at all
different ages.. Never easy, no matter how/when..
Give her a hug... Take it one day at a time..

Daisy

[Stef]

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Stef, Wes & Tux

Edited by Stef, 30 March 2007 - 09:34 AM.