137 replies to this topic

[dobbiehearted]

thank guys... so much... again...

I took him to vet today and she said-- negative on the leptosparosis... so its def his kidneys failing.. she said his numbers again are off the charts for failure.. however she is puzzled by his potassium and a few others that mean he is not in that dangerous of state either.. she said she is very puzzled at these blood work readings showing so high.. but he is perky and not at all how a dog with these numbers should be acting.. she told me to take him home.. she adjusted his dcm medication to take less pressure off the kidneys and in doing that it slightly risks his heart...with the current DCM.. this made sense to me...

here is my thoughts.. many of you understand this .. I will not let him suffer and vet said he doesnt seem to be suffering but may be feeling like we do when we get a bad flu..that is why he wont eat "at all" she gave me an appetite excelerator.. for once a day.. she said we will re-evaluate tuesday.. I am watching him every second until then of course..

I am confused as I understand he needs to be let go-- I need to free him from this way of living.. this is not his standards, or how he would want me to let him live.. he hasnt ate a proper meal since last Sat.. food intake today was almost zero.. he has lost 12 pounds in almost a week..

however he is still doing things he likes.. riding in the car as if its old times.. chasing a critter out back with the same enthusiasm when I verbally encourage him..so I am thinking I dont want to miss anything that he could get better and then go back to a post DCM diagnosis life that was pretty good..

this one he is living now is not.. I am forcing little bits of food in his mouth and he is like the gentleman he is taking it.. so slow and careful.. but with a look of why are you doing this to me mom?--

other things happening and he is weak.. I just hope I am not missing ANYTHING and he could come back. vet said its possible the situation could improve with him starting to eat again, but she doesnt think so...

I am guessing this trying to hold on to this hope is normal- almost being in denial of some sort.. I just dont want to turn off his life light if there is anything I am missing.. anything I did not see that could let him come back to a quality of life.. .. I know I am doing everything possible to try and feed him.. help him... I keep thinking maybe just wait like the flu and it will pass and the kidneys will start to function at a level to give him a decent quality of life.. after all how did this happen all of a sudden...

then I get sensible and know with his DCM.. he lived 9 months just like Lexa since diagnosis.. he is getting weaker and I need to let him go.. Dr. Karen said keep him with me the weekend and we shall visit tuesday.. I am hoping tmrw he will still get a large percentage of the day as seeming to have joy.. sleeping so much... I may have to do this earlier.. hours seem to matter now.. I dont feel like my sharp usual thinking self.. I feel foggy making this decision..-- Lexa did not suffer one second.. but this is different, I know he is not feeling well.. so I must let him go.. I just keep thinking I dont want to let him go too early... he is still enjoying some hours of his day...

Ill get there.. Ill watch him very close after he wakes and see what kind of day he is having.. if there isnt much there for him-- I will make this decision when needed.

thanks again all of you...

I thought of you- Sarah and Joaquin today, more than usual.. Dr. Karen told me about Stone's amazing arrival...-- wow I told her he found dobbie heaven with you two and will be loved and cherished for his forever now... she was touched by your beautiful boy..--

[Bumpette]

.. but he is perky and not at all how a dog with these numbers should be acting..

Perky is good.

The body is an amazing machine, it knows what it needs. Sleep is a healing mode, he is sleeping more than usual in order to heal. His body has probably shut down his appetite to compensate for the kidneys not functioning properly. Take a cue from all dogs, and live for today...tomorrow will take care of itself.....in due time.

Give Loki some lovin from me. And here is a hug of courage for you.

[Dobes & Feathers]

Sorry to read about your sweet Loki ,Stay paws-i-tive and sending prayer's your way.
There is something to learn from thier determination.

[doberpagegirl]

I'm so sorry Janet. I was where you are a month ago- you know your boy best. He will let you know when it is time. I wish I could say something to help, but there is nothing to help... except the knowledge that you have done your best by him, he has always been loved by you, and he always will be. Prayers.

[dobbiehearted]

ye hes gone.. we all out here are in this club.. the love then heartbreak- love again club.. I dont think I can do this again.. Dr. Karen is amazing.. she was so gentle and loving withme and him...

today he was worse.. last night he was figidy.. I kept playing in my mind.. maybe heck eat and at least feel better to where he was before h e lost his appetite.. maybe this and maybe that.. this morning he was weak.. very weak.. I put the usual canned food with tiny bits on a spoon.. he hated this way to eat for the last "5 days"-- the last 3 were the worse.. he was such a gentleman.. taking the little bits.. I did that this morning with his pills-- he ate icecubes I had in the car..

we went to a few places he loves.. he was tired... not himself or even to get exicted.. he had a real struggle to get in the truck, even with the two twin matresses I always layed down for him... he looked even skinner in just this lst 24 hours..

I kept kissing him , telling him how much i loved him... he was kind of aloof........ just not feeling well.. off we went, much earlier than I had planned.. I wanted to releive him as I was thinking I was rushing this too much...

the actual letting go was hard for me.. he went as you all know who have done this with little notice... just sleep.... I felt the end was to rushed and I did not connect with him.. or something felt just so wrong...

I think its been the last 5 days of him feeling so badly.. I held him and let him go.. tried to look into his eyes for one last look before the medication was applied..

not a good day.. and this back in the house thing.. this life without him.. I remember it well from Lexa..-- I keep playing it over and over .... its as if it happened so fast.. he was sick.. diagnosis kidneys failing.. boom time to put him down..

thank you for your love out here.. and back at you all.. I dont want to be a member of this brokenhearted club ever again..-- I have not even processed this yet.. these last 5 days were terrible..

[Bumpette]

I am so sorry Janet. Because of you, Loki knew the meaning of life......true love. Run free Loki........

[debl]

Oh, Janet. My heart goes out to you. Your Big Beautiful Boy is playing with Lexa and all the dobes from our heartbreak club.

Deb

[doberpagegirl]

Please know I am crying with you. I'm sure Buddy, Page and Lexa greeted him with play bows and Dober kisses. You did the right thing. He would thank you if he could. I'm so, so sorry and I hate this disease so much.

[Diana]

I am so sorry for your loss of Loki, he was very lucky to have you for his mom, you cared and loved him so much and did the right thing for him when he needed you the most, even though it hurts you and you will miss him ,he will be forever in your heart.

[Nancy Robinson]

OH MY LORD in HEAVEN I am so sorry
Tears tears tears and more tears, you
are in my HEART, I am so sorry.

This is just all TOO MUCH

[Joaquin]

Very sorry Janet, hang in there.

[Cheri]

Janet, my heart is breaking for you. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, but you know, and those of us who have been through this know, only time will make things better. You will never forget Loki, he takes up a big place in your heart, but some day the pain will not be as acute, and then some day after that you will be able to remember the wonderful times and all the love he brought into your life. Letting them go is the most painful thing we do, but it was the only thing you could do, the right thing to do under the circumstances. The years he had with you were the best ones of his life.

Run free at the Bridge with Lexa, Loki........

[Pam]

I can't believe I'm reading this. I know it's not adequate, but I'm so, so sorry. Every time I see another Dobe lost it's like a punch in the heart. Just remember how much you gave him & how happy his years were with you. Even this last act was an act of love. Prayers are with you.

[ohiodobe]

Janet, It is so heart breaking to read your story. We all have been there...too many times. Yet we must keep on going and the greatest feeling is when you can do for Loki what he would want and that would be share your life with a dobe who is in need of that great love and care you lavished on him. The worst is coming home to the empty home. I had to do that only once and not having that gentle nudge and trusting eyes to help me mend my heart is the worst feeling ever. They are never here long enough for us but the time we have with them is their life time. You can't ask for more than that...their whole life and all that love! You will meet Loki again and he will be well and whole. Blessings to you, Linda

[dobie sunshine]

I am so sorry for all that you have had to go thru and are going thru. My heart goes out to you. Loki was so blessed to have a mom like you. Run free sweet Loki run free.

[Arda]

Janet; the love they give by far outweighs the hurt we have when we loose them. He was worth every tear you shed. I honestly believe that or I would have been out of rescue 30 years ago. The next one I get will stitch up the broken heart Bubbles, Oscar, Sapphire, and the hundreds more I have lost, have left. I can't bare the thought of no Dober Love.

[Annie Moon]

I'm so sorry to read of Loki's passing.
What a wonderful dober-Mom you've been.
As others have mentioned, we've all been thru it but that doesn't take away the pain.
My sympathy to you.

[dobermidwife]

Dear Janet,

I am finally catching up on reading the forum. Life seems to have a way of getting out of control. I am shocked and saddened to read this thread about your precious boy, Loki. I remember all your posts about Lexa, your heart break over her loss. I also remember all the posts as Loki settled into his new home and life with you. You gave him all the love a dobermom can give to her wonderful dog(s). Your pictures of him always fun to see.

My tears fell and a lump too hard to swallow formed as I read your posts. I am so very, very sorry about your loss of this beautiful boy. Words are inadequate at a time like this. Please know my heart and prayers are with you.